Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

These aliens are taking forever.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Trending via TikTok:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Spotted on Discord:

I hate it when I take a picture of myself and see 20 years of bad eating habits and no exercise.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Shared recently on Reddit:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Making waves on Reddit:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Trending via Threads:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Just shared via Instagram:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Funny vestigial quotes

New funny vestigial quotes 👇

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

3 weeks ago

appendix, belief, believe, biology, humor, i, organ, people, primordial, think, vestigial, vestigial organ

All funny vestigial quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

99 shares on Threads this month:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

51 shares on Threads this month:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Freshly posted on X:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Spotted on Discord:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Spreading quickly via X:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Going viral on Reddit:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Just shared via Facebook:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny vestigial quotes

New funny vestigial quotes 👇

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

All funny vestigial quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨