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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Breaking via Twitch:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Just shared via WeChat:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Reported on Discord:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Seen just now on Threads:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Shared recently on Slack:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

829 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,991

Funny Quotes Topics

13,935

Funny Quotes Images

10,991

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Live now on Facebook:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Spotted on YouTube:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Making waves on TikTok:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Breaking via Twitch:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Going viral on TikTok:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

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