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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Can we take a moment to celebrate the little ride we get in the pneumatic chair at the hair salon or barber when they pump it up or down?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

Seen just now on Slack:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Just shared via YouTube:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Going viral on Twitch:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Making waves on Twitch:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Live now on Discord:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Going viral on TikTok:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,453

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Shared recently on Slack:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Going viral on WeChat:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Imagine you get to the gates of heaven and they make you download an app to go in.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

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