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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Breaking via Reddit:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Shared recently on X:

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Trending via X:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Just landed via Facebook:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Live now on TikTok:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Just shared via Instagram:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Breaking via X:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Trending via Instagram:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Reported on Messenger:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Just landed via Messenger:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

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