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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Trending via WeChat:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Spotted on Discord:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Just landed via WeChat:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You need a twins name suggestion? How about Kate and DupliKate?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just shared via Facebook:

“There are lots of benefits to working here. We have fun social events and activities after work!” And what are the benefits?

Shared recently on Instagram:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Trending via TikTok:

Every millennial is now paying Apple $9.99/month for 2TB just to not delete their life.

Just shared via X:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Spotted on Reddit:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Making waves on YouTube:

Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

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