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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

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15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Just landed via Reddit:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Going bananas on Facebook:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Making waves on Messenger:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Friends with consequences.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Funny wired headphone quotes

New funny wired headphone quotes 👇

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

1 month ago

connection, generation, headphone, headphones, heartbreak, know, loose, loose connection, music, never, new, nostalgia, relationship, technology, wired, wired headphone

All funny wired headphone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

27 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

93 shares on Threads this month:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

A McRib killed my tapeworm.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Making waves on Twitch:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Making waves on Discord:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Breaking via WeChat:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Going bananas on WeChat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Spotted on Reddit:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny wired headphone quotes

New funny wired headphone quotes 👇

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

All funny wired headphone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨