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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Just landed via X:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Just shared via Pinterest:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Reported on Threads:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Going viral on Telegram:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

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Funny zippo quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

Updated

14 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Just shared via Telegram:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Trending via Pinterest:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Just landed via Twitch:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Breaking via Instagram:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Just shared via Twitch:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Just landed via Slack:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

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