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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Live now on Instagram:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

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Funny zombie apocalypse quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

818 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,980

Funny Quotes Topics

13,922

Funny Quotes Images

10,980

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Just landed via Discord:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Live now on TikTok:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Going viral on TikTok:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Trending via X:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

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