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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

In your 20s, there will be a cat, and it is very important to get that cat and spend so much money on it.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I’m still tired from yesterday’s tired.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Just landed via Slack:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

Just shared via Telegram:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Just landed via X:

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Spotted on Threads:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting Gen Z's changing sex habits with playful humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Gen Z is swiping left on procreation! 🚫📱👶

always, commentary, gen, Gen Z, generation, having, humor, less, people, sex, social, social commentary, stereotype, z

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35 shares on X this month:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

29 shares on X this month:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

God saw you do that.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Going viral on Messenger:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Just shared via Facebook:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Breaking via Messenger:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Seen just now on X:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Live now on WeChat:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Going viral on Telegram:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

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Activity Log ✨

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Keep the laugh going 😂

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨