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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Making waves on TikTok:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Trending via Telegram:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Just landed via TikTok:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Trending via Facebook:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Just landed via Messenger:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Just shared via Slack:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Seen just now on Messenger:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Witty text highlighting Gen Z's changing sex habits with playful humor.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like Gen Z is swiping left on procreation! 🚫📱👶

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on YouTube this month:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

84 shares on X this month:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Live now on Messenger:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Spotted on Slack:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Trending via Twitch:

My keys fell in the snow, and now they’re gone forever — time to start a new life under a new name in a warmer climate.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Seen just now on Discord:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Just landed via Facebook:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Going bananas on Threads:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

Live now on Instagram:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

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