Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

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No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

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Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

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You’re not entertaining, you are exittaining.

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You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

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The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

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When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.