Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I run a parody bank account.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,466

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“Never let someone else destroy your stuff when you can destroy it yourself”, every kid I ever.

Breaking via Snapchat:

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Shared recently on WeChat:

An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

Trending via Snapchat:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Trending via Threads:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Going bananas on X:

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Witty text highlighting the humorous difference grammar makes in a playful way.

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Commentary:
When grammar goes rogue, you're just one apostrophe away from an existential crisis! 💩📚😅

difference, education, grammar, humor, joke, knowing, language, shit, wordplay, writing

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Gutted to report that spending a day offline, touching grass with my friends, was phenomenal for my mental health.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Making waves on Instagram:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Making waves on Slack:

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Spotted on TikTok:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Just shared via Pinterest:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨