Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.
  • “So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.
  • The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.
  • Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.
  • Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.
  • If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.