Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Going viral on Slack:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Just landed via Pinterest:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Trending via Telegram:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Just landed via Discord:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Shared recently on X:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Freshly posted on Threads:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Nothing says 'haunted house' quite like a moldy pumpkin thinking it can still rock last year's look! 🎃👻 #FashionFauxGourd"

decoration, even, Halloween, humor, just, last, last year, pumpkin, scary, seasonal, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

0

5 days ago

Avatar, born, disappointment, fandom, humor, i, interest, unfortunately
If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

0

2 months ago

English, ever, humor, irony, just, language, lead, read, remember, rhyme, think, weird, wordplay
Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

0

5 months ago

comparison, condiment, derogatory, explain, food, food humor, funny comparison, honey, hot, hot honey, humor, know, pickleball, slang
The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

0

2 months ago

appearance, coincidence, embarrassment, encounter, errand, errands, everyone, guarantee, lesson, life, life lesson, looking, months, only, run, seen, shit, social, social encounter, surprise
I avoid drama by being unpopular.

0

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, being, drama, humor, i, introversion, life, relationships, social, social life, unpopular
Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

0

2 months ago

alone, alone time, good, having, humor, peace, rest, schedule, sleeping, sleeping schedule, solitude, talk, talking, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

29 shares on X this month:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

18 shares on Facebook this month:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

88 shares on Slack this month:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Shy with a mean resting face is a crazy combo.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Broadcasted on X:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Seen just now on Discord:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨