Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Just shared via X:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Making waves on Facebook:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Breaking via Instagram:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Live now on Instagram:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Trending via Discord:

I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Just landed via Facebook:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Breaking via TikTok:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Trying to harness the power of procrastination… they're saying it might be the next renewable energy source! 😅🔋📅

anyone, effort, else, hard, humor, motivation, noticed, observation, procrastination, reluctance, task, things, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal friend, berry, eating, enchanted, enchanted forest, escape, fantasy, forest, friend, friends, humorous, i, lover, me, nature, nature lover, streets, talking, whimsical, woodland
I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

0

2 months ago

banter, breakfast, eat, eating, humor, i, jokes, posts, sarcasm, witty, yours
Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

0

2 months ago

advice, avoid, avoid calls, bill, bill collector, calls, collector, funny advice, humor, phone, phone bill
I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

0

2 months ago

call, clever, clever wordplay, Delaware, delusional, humor, i, identity, self-aware, wordplay
Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

0

3 months ago

agreement, communication, decision, half, humor, i, mistake, problem, problems, regret, said, saying, saying yes, sure, yes
Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

0

2 months ago

anxious, day, exhausted, hell, humor, irony, reality, scam, spend, stress, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Facebook this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

34 shares on Instagram this month:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Who called them sea lions and not soggy doggies?

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

37 shares on X this month:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

79 shares on X this month:

Halloween is over and most people just keep on being creepy.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Breaking via Threads:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Just landed via Telegram:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Just shared via Discord:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.

Just shared via Facebook:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

Weekends are a scam, you spend one day exhausted and the other day anxious. Like, what the hell was that?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨