Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Trending via TikTok:

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Just shared via WeChat:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Shared recently on TikTok:

When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Live now on Messenger:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Your 20s are for trying soup, making new soups, and discussing soup or soup related topics.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
A girlfriend who doesn’t flood your feed with selfies—talk about the perfect balance! 📷❌😅

blessing, girlfriend, having, humor, media, post, privacy, relationship, social, social media, underrated

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This whole week could have been an email.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, humor, productivity, week, whole, work
I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

0

2 months ago

affection, child, funny moment, humor, i, love, moment, old, pants, parenting, toddler, wish, year
I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, armpits, care, deodorant, feel, humor, hygiene, i, personal, personal care, shaving, still
A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

0

5 months ago

ago, being, change, crazy, humor, madness, meant, society, something, time
Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

0

2 months ago

amusing, comedy, future, humor, joke, prediction, psychic, sarcasm
Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

0

2 months ago

difference, feeling, grammar, humor, important, language, nuts, punctuation, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on TikTok this month:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.

33 shares on Discord this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on decorating the tree.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Just shared via TikTok:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Just shared via Instagram:

Having a toddler is wild. I’m getting breaking news about Peppa Pig.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Spotted on Facebook:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Spotted on Instagram:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This whole week could have been an email.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Becoming a psychic for the foreseeable future.

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨