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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Going viral on Discord:

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Making waves on X:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

Just shared via Slack:

I love having plans to cancel.

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the sun becomes your personal branding iron… guess I'm now the tastiest snack on the safari menu! 🍗🤣🌞

animal, animals, closing, everyone, having, humiliating, humiliation, humor, hungry, i, knows, link, me, sunburn, survival, unprepared, weakness, wilderness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

1 month ago
common, common sense, communication, confusion, expression, face, found, humor, love, misunderstanding, over, person, reaction, say, sense, thing
People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

1 month ago
crowd, grocery, grocery store, humor, impatience, me, people, same, shopping, store, time
Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

1 month ago
concern, exercise, heat, humor, jogging, okay, people, seriously, shout, shout out, sure
The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

1 month ago
account, bank, bank account, care, humor, indulgence, money, phrase, ruined, self, self-care, spending, treat, treat yourself, waistline, yourself
If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

1 month ago
energy, enough, house, humor, irony, nuclear, nuclear reactor, power, reactor, small, submarine, technology
Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

1 month ago
behavior, example, humor, i, kindness, mouth, random, sarcasm, self-deprecating, shut, silence, social, social behavior, sometimes, wit

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Trending via Slack:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You can tell a lot about someone based on which Spice Girl they were most attracted to.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Live now on LinkedIn:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

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Activity Log ✨

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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