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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Making waves on Facebook:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Live now on Pinterest:

Are you gonna meow for me or what, bro?

Making waves on X:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Spotted on Instagram:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Just landed via Slack:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Just landed via YouTube:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

16 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about thinking someone’s smart for reading, with humorous slang and attitude.

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Commentary:
Sounds like those books have more plot twists than my life decisions! 📚😂

baby, book, books, humor, i, intelligence, read, reading, sarcasm, smart

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

99 shares on X this month:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

66 shares on Threads this month:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

28 shares on Discord this month:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Making waves on Facebook:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Live now on Discord:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Going bananas on Threads:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t rub your happiness in people’s faces this Valentine’s Day. Let the couples enjoy themselves for once.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Just landed via Instagram:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Going viral on Reddit:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨