Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

How do I un-know people?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Trending via TikTok:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Spotted on WeChat:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Broadcasted on Discord:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Just landed via TikTok:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Just shared via Messenger:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Live now on TikTok:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Just shared via X:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If humor is your exhale, you might just be my favorite secondhand smoke 😂🚬❤️

cigarette, cigarettes, flirt, girl, humor, i, joke, line, pickup, pickup line

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

0

2 months ago

confusion, expression, face, game, going, great, humor, i, idea, poker
It takes guts to be an organ donor.

0

2 months ago

bravery, charity, donation, donor, guts, health, humor, organ, organ donor
Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

0

5 months ago

attention, attitude, even, hatred, humor, imagine, indifference, me, paying, sarcasm, self-confidence
I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

0

2 months ago

Andropov, day, driver, humor, i, joke, name, Pikup, Russian, Uber
I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

0

2 months ago

confidence, humor, joke, lose, lost, relationship, virginity
I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

0

2 months ago

act, comfort, expectation, frustration, hate, humor, i, job, man, pillow, should, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Twitch this month:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

53 shares on Slack this month:

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone becomes a robo-dancer when the motion sensor faucet isn’t working.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough; I need their PornHub videos to always buffer, just as they’re about to climax.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

Just landed via X:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Seen just now on Threads:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I can’t afford a vehicle with wing doors, so I buy the Tupperware with lids which open that way.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Spotted on TikTok:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨