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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Just shared via Twitch:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Going viral on Discord:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Trending via Messenger:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Breaking via YouTube:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Making waves on X:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

0
Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).
Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your "Hey" really means "fry-napping in progress" 🍟😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

67 shares on X this month:

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

20 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

55 shares on Slack this month:

As a child, all I wanted was as to be a time traveller, like my grandson and his grandson before him.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Windmill? Big fan.

76 shares on Discord this month:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

87 shares on Threads this month:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you a software update, because not now!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,677

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Going viral on TikTok:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Spotted on Reddit:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Trending via Threads:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Just landed via Telegram:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Shared recently on X:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

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