Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Shared recently on WeChat:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Just shared via Facebook:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Live now on TikTok:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Making waves on TikTok:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your "Hey" really means "fry-napping in progress" 🍟😂

, , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

We need a slur for people who use ChatGPT.

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life isn’t funny, why should my posts be?

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

36 shares on TikTok this month:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Boy, are you a piñata? Because I have an overwhelming urge to beat you with a stick.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad called my philosophy degree a “license for unemployment.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Making waves on YouTube:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Live now on X:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Trending via Facebook:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Trending via Telegram:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Trending via Instagram:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Spotted on Reddit:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Spotted on Threads:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Spotted on X:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

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