Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,718

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Cats clean themselves with their little fish breath mouths, but somehow they always smell like laundry detergent, vanilla, and happiness.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

Going viral on Discord:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Shared recently on Threads:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Trending via Discord:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Going bananas on Slack:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Going bananas on Twitch:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Just shared via Threads:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Home is where you've left the shopping list… along with your keys, your sanity, and all hopes of ever remembering to buy milk 🛒🧾🔑😅"

daily, daily life, forgetfulness, home, humor, left, life, list, shopping, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

0

2 months ago

among, being, comparison, humor, i’ll, irony, Jesus, media, mentally, mentally ill, poor, prostitute, social, social media, spent, time, Twitter, unemployed
I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

0

2 months ago

daylight, humor, needs, saving, self
I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

0

2 months ago

being, better, chance, else, everyone, give, humor, i, media, much, post, seen, sharing, social, social media, too, try, visibility
“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

0

2 months ago

after, bad, cheese, dairy, drinks, eat, health, humor, infancy, kale, Karen, let, mango, me, milk, only, peace, pineapple, smoothie, specy
Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

0

2 months ago

addiction, alcohol, cycle, drinking, humor, recovery, regret, repeat, self-awareness, vicious, vicious cycle
Next to nothing is a weird place.

0

2 months ago

humor, next, next to nothing, nothing, perspective, place, weird, weird place

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

48 shares on Threads this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

57 shares on Threads this month:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

63 shares on Discord this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Broadcasted on Slack:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Spotted on TikTok:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Just shared via Slack:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Breaking via Twitch:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Spotted on WeChat:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨