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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

We go together like Drunk and Disorderly.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Making waves on Messenger:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Freshly posted on X:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Just shared via X:

Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Going bananas on X:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Just shared via X:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Just landed via WeChat:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about how horror films have spoiled carefree skinny-dipping fun.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the terror of trying to enjoy a peaceful skinny-dip only to have creepy horror movie scenes flash before your eyes! 🙈👻 Who knew that innocent midnight swims would forever be haunted by thoughts of lurking monsters and unexpected scares? 🏊‍♂️🎬 It's a horror fan's dilemma – to fear the water or the terror on land! 😂 #SkinnyDippingGoneWrong

activity, comedy, experience, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, joy, me, movie, personal, personal experience, skinny-dip, swimming

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

The problem is I am always the problem.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

29 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“You changed!” Yeah, I thought three days in the same outfit was kinda pushing it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,357

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Making waves on Slack:

This whole week could have been an email.

Making waves on WeChat:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Making waves on Reddit:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Freshly posted on Slack:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Trending via Facebook:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Just shared via Instagram:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Trending via Instagram:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Making waves on Twitch:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

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