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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Ripped a tag off my leggings and did not realize it was load-bearing.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

49 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Live now on X:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Spotted on Threads:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Shared recently on X:

First, they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

Trending via TikTok:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Trending via Facebook:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

6 months ago

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, the terror of trying to enjoy a peaceful skinny-dip only to have creepy horror movie scenes flash before your eyes! 🙈👻 Who knew that innocent midnight swims would forever be haunted by thoughts of lurking monsters and unexpected scares? 🏊‍♂️🎬 It's a horror fan's dilemma – to fear the water or the terror on land! 😂 #SkinnyDippingGoneWrong

activity, comedy, experience, fear, fun, fun activity, horror, horror movie, joy, me, movie, personal, personal experience, skinny-dip, swimming

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

816 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,978

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,978

49 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Just shared via Instagram:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

Just landed via Snapchat:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Just landed via Reddit:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Live now on Facebook:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

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