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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Outfit repeater. Meal repeater. Movie rewatcher. I know what I like.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I am deeply overwhelmed and yet incredibly bored at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,998

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Making waves on TikTok:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Just landed via Discord:

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Breaking via TikTok:

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

Breaking via WeChat:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’ve never seen a McDonald’s or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

6 days ago

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Commentary:
Proof that babies are the original mic drop artists 🎤👶✨

admire, baby, behavior, drop, hold, humor, i, just, parenting, something, toddler, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

5 months ago

adult, best, childhood, era, growing, growing up, humor, kid, life, life stage, nostalgia, stage, worst
Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

1 month ago

death, die, doing, end, existential, humor, irony, joke, just, laughter, life, lmao, philosophy
I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

1 month ago

humor, humorous, humorous quote, independent, independent woman, irony, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, self-empowerment, strong, strong woman, woman
What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

1 month ago

archaeologist, back, digging, discovery, excavation, hand, humor, joke, looking
I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

2 months ago

2008, disappointment, employer, expectations, future, headshot, humor, i, job, job search, LinkedIn, search
“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

1 month ago

AI, boss, bus, coming, coworker, done, humor, ID, jobs, office, responsibility, sarcasm, soon, throw, under, work, workplace

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I quit boxing the moment I realized my opponent was allowed to punch me in the face, too.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Just landed via Instagram:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Making waves on YouTube:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Making waves on Facebook:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

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Activity Log ✨

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Yeah, sex is cool and all, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Having your own apartment by yourself is so funny, cause I really just swept the whole place naked.

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

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I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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