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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Someone is probably in the worst argument of their life right now. LOL!

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Going viral on TikTok:

Not a fan of frozen pizza. Too cold, in my opinion.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Live now on WeChat:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Going viral on Slack:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Trending via Instagram:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Spotted on Messenger:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Going viral on Messenger:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Proof that babies are the original mic drop artists 🎤👶✨

admire, baby, behavior, drop, hold, humor, i, just, parenting, something, toddler, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not feeling very worky today.

2 months ago

feeling, humor, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work
Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

2 months ago

fun, games, grip, home, lose, reality, remote, remote work, telecommuting, work
If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

2 months ago

business, company, entrepreneurship, feeling, humor, little, loneliness, lonely, motivation, small, small business, start
If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

2 months ago

humor, joke, me, pale, reply, response, shocked, someone, surprise
I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

2 months ago

art, hang, humor, lie, painting, relationship, sex, straight, tell
Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

6 months ago

business, casual, eating, fruit, humor, minding, minding business, own, relaxation, summer, watermelon

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

My home security system is just a copy of my paycheck taped to my front door.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Just landed via Reddit:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Spotted on YouTube:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Just shared via Instagram:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I need money, not feelings.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Spotted on WeChat:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨