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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Remember when we had to smack the TV because the channel wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Just shared via TikTok:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Just landed via Discord:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Just landed via WeChat:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Reported on Discord:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Making waves on YouTube:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Breaking via Twitch:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.
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Commentary:
Size may matter, but it's the size of your heart that truly counts! ❤️ And hey, a big heart can spread lots of love and joy, no matter how big or small it may be! 🌟 #BigHeartBigLove

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

2 hours ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Just landed via Discord:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Breaking via Slack:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Spotted on Discord:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

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