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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,407

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Trending via TikTok:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Going bananas on X:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Live now on Facebook:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

Just landed via TikTok:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They need to invent a job for people who aren’t good at anything nor motivated nor social.

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Funny tech-savvy quote about AI and droids teasing, playful and witty in tone.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
R2D2 told me to beep-boop myself out of this conversation! 🤖😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

33 shares on Slack this month:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

54 shares on X this month:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Insomnia is embarrassing. How can I be so bad at something that literally involves doing nothing?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,457

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I made a smoothie that needs a spoon.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Spotted on YouTube:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Trending via Threads:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

Just shared via Instagram:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Breaking via Slack:

The fact Head and Shoulders doesn’t have a body wash called Knees and Toes, is disappointing.

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