Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re not really a writer unless you send at least one email a month with a script attachment, saying, “Sorry, read this one instead.”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Spotted on Slack:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Making waves on Threads:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Trending via Threads:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Making waves on Reddit:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Making waves on Facebook:

I am cassette tape years old.

Just shared via Slack:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Trending via YouTube:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

4 weeks ago

Funny quote about aliens being cautious when passing Earth, playful and humorous text.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Can you blame them? Earth can be quite the sketchy neighborhood! 👽🔒 #SafetyFirst"

alien, aliens, bet, door, Earth, humor, i, joke, lock, past, safety, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

60 shares on X this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

90 shares on Slack this month:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

54 shares on Threads this month:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can show you the stars, we just have to stand up really fast.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Why are moths always out at night when they like light so much? Wait til y’all find out about the sun.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Trending via Discord:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Going viral on Reddit:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Just shared via YouTube:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Shared recently on Discord:

Long-term relationship? Like Tom and Jerry?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Breaking via YouTube:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Live now on Snapchat:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Trending via WhatsApp:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨