Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Just shared via X:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Broadcasted on Discord:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Freshly posted on X:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Playful quote about maintaining a laid-back attitude at work that managers dislike.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like you're the office master of chill vibes and delayed deadlines 😎🦥📅

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

56 shares on Slack this month:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I think it’s healthy to be a little horny at all times.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I just stood up without making a sound. Don’t be jealous.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee is better when you have no work.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life, but nothing worse than being called on the phone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Seen just now on WeChat:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Just landed via Discord:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Going viral on WeChat:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Seen just now on Instagram:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Trending via YouTube:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

Freshly posted on X:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴