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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Really love how dancing alone in your room can literally save your life.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Seen just now on Twitch:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Making waves on Slack:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Spotted on Discord:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

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I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.
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Commentary:
Well, that's some impressive time traveling involved there! 🏍️🕰️ Talk about beating the clock in a whole new dimension! Just when you thought mornings couldn't get any louder, bam 💥 – the future comes knocking. Watch out for flying DeLoreans!🚗⏱️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I tried to clean up my Chrome tabs but it turns out all 200 of them contain information that is vital for my survival.

98 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

14 shares on Threads this month:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My dog sighs a lot for someone who doesn’t pay any bills.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love posting my thoughts on the internet. Now they’re your problem.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What’s next, more things? That’s how they get you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

For Halloween, I wanna be loved.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Making waves on Telegram:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Trending via Pinterest:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

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