Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I forgot to turn my clocks back and, oh my God, you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,568

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Making waves on Messenger:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Live now on WeChat:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Just landed via Telegram:

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

Just shared via Instagram:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Pressure washing is like regular washing but with a lot of yelling and tight deadlines.

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

1 month ago

Humorous text about disbelief over neighbor's loud motorcycle being run over tomorrow morning.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that's some impressive time traveling involved there! 🏍️🕰️ Talk about beating the clock in a whole new dimension! Just when you thought mornings couldn't get any louder, bam 💥 – the future comes knocking. Watch out for flying DeLoreans!🚗⏱️

believe, disbelief, funny situation, humor, i, loud, morning, motorcycle, neighbor, neighbors, noise, over, running, running over, situation, someone, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

56 shares on Slack this month:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Am I the only one who prays about everything? Like, ‘God, please help me find where I dropped my AirPods.’

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Just shared via Instagram:

I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Making waves on Discord:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Just shared via X:

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Going viral on Threads:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Just landed via Discord:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

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