Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Gonna waterboard my houseplants so they know who’s the boss.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

68 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,337

Funny Quotes Topics

17,456

Funny Quotes Images

15,337

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Live now on X:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Making waves on Slack:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Just shared via X:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Mirror, mirror on the wall, why work hard at all? 😄 Looks like today, it's personality for the win! 💁‍♂️ #LetPersonalityShine"

again, confidence, doing, glimpse, guess, humor, i, mirror, morning, myself, personality, self-image, today, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, being, day, hot, humor, just, reality, rich, self-deprecation
I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

0

2 months ago

cable, humor, i, money, monthly, only, rid, services, smart, streaming
Come on, karma, do your job.

0

2 months ago

come on, expectation, humor, irony, job, karma
The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

0

2 months ago

best, buying, family, fight, gifts, holiday, humor, relatif, sarcasm, start, time
90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

0

2 months ago

90s, cloning, Earth, flat earth, Flat Earther, humor, last, Mars, robot, round, science, scientists, sheep, time, today
If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

0

2 months ago

advice, block, dating, feeling, follow, humor, joke, just, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh good. Another day.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I can resist everything except temptation.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

61 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

My favorite military tradition is asking someone what an acronym means right after they use it, and they don’t know what it means.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Just landed via Slack:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Just shared via Messenger:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Going viral on Twitch:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Going viral on Instagram:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Going viral on YouTube:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Come on, karma, do your job.

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨