I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.