Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Well, if theft equals swag acquisition, consider me a swag investor! 💸😂 Your stolen style is a direct deposit to my fashion fund! 💰👗 #SwagTax #AllFunAndFashion

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

0

2 months ago

aggressive, awkwardness, communication, creepy, humor, i, nothing, please, relationship, respond
My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

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3 months ago

buy, fashion, humor, i, outfit, outfits, problem, shoe, shopping, style, wardrobe
When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

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2 months ago

activity, animal, cat, dealer, done, eating, gesture, hands, humor, i, playful, quirky, show
In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

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2 months ago

asked, boss, communication, effort, employees, everyone, humor, keep, me, morale, motivated, motivation, office, stop, stop talking, talking, workplace
I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

0

2 months ago

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My age is news to me every single time I remember.

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2 months ago

age, every, forgetfulness, humor, i, me, memory, news, remember, self-awareness, single, surprise, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Slack this month:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Half princess, half menace.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Instagram:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Making waves on Instagram:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Breaking via Discord:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Going viral on Facebook:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Just landed via Twitch:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Shared recently on Discord:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Trending via WeChat:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨