Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🚗💨 "I drive home faster than my delivery food on a Friday night! Gotta outpace the chickens waiting for me like I'm late for the house. Speed racer mode: activated! 🏁😂"

after, drive, home, house, humor, i, late, quick, rush, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

46 shares on X this month:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Just landed via X:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Plot twist: a Mission Impossible movie where the mission is in fact impossible.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Seen just now on Slack:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Trending via YouTube:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Spotted on X:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

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Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

I will restart the entire song if you talk over my favorite part.

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨