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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Seen just now on Facebook:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Trending via X:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

Trending via Threads:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Reported on WhatsApp:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Spotted on Instagram:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Seen just now on Reddit:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Jan 20, 2025

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive 8 hours of sleep – like a mythical creature only spotted once in a blue moon! 🌙😂 It's a journey filled with twists, turns, and plenty of caffeinated detours. Who needs a map when you've got determination and a cozy pillow, right? 💤 Keep chasing those Z's, you sleep warrior!"

days, exhaustion, hours, humor, i, me, rest, sleep, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

1 hour ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Whoever removed the 30th and 31st from February, come get the 14th too.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Going viral on Pinterest:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Trending via Twitch:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Just landed via Twitch:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Just had a crazy revelation: you can eat in the airport after your flight, too.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

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