Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

How I clean my room: 1. Start in one corner. 2. Find something from six years ago and stare at it nostalgically for five hours. 3. Go to bed.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,243

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Spotted on Slack:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Live now on Reddit:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Trending via Twitch:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

4 weeks ago

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Commentary:
Santa's about to learn that Pepsi Max and cookies are the new North Pole gourmet pairing 🍪🥤🎅

beverage, Christmas, cup, forgetfulness, forgot, holiday, humor, i, max, milk, Pepsi, Pepsi Max, Santa

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Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Slack this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

66 shares on X this month:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

62 shares on X this month:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Women love asking you questions about the movie you both are watching.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

What if instead of Big Mac it was Big Matt and he came out and said hello to you?

Spotted on TikTok:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Just shared via TikTok:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Trending via Slack:

It was all revealed to me in a delusion.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨