Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m upstairs and the food is downstairs. Send help.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,525

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Spotted on Messenger:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Just landed via YouTube:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Live now on Telegram:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Trending via Pinterest:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Seen just now on Messenger:

And then the vodka whispered, “Say what you really think.”

Breaking via Slack:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Live now on Discord:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystery tape: it's either a home movie, a forgotten blockbuster, or an intimate encounter with 'The Blob'! 📼🤔🍿"

bit, box, curiosity, found, home, home video, humor, i, label, mystery, nervous, nostalgia, retro, tape, torn, torn label, VHS, VHS tape, video

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

0

2 months ago

boxing, Boxing Day, court, day, defense, holiday, honor, humor, joke, misunderstanding
My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

0

4 weeks ago

communication, dead, distraction, face, hear, humor, i, listening, said, sarcasm, stare, superpower, talking, while, word
Roses are pink. I need a drink.

0

2 months ago

beverage, drink, fun, humor, i, lightheartedness, need, party, pink, poetry, roses, wine
Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

0

2 months ago

boob, boobs, communication, creativity, describe, humor, picture, visual
“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

0

2 months ago

billiards, favorite, favorite hole, favourite, game, hole, humor, i, me, playful, playful remark, pool, pool table, remark, sport, table
Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

0

2 months ago

city, city names, humor, names, Popenhagen, religion, should, vatican, Vatican City, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

60 shares on Discord this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m the guy at Apple who makes sure all your featured photos are your exes and your dog that died.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

81 shares on Slack this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

52 shares on Slack this month:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

62 shares on Slack this month:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Next time I feel butterflies, I’m chugging down a bottle of tequila so they drown.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.

Breaking via Messenger:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Trending via Instagram:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Just landed via TikTok:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Trending via YouTube:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Making waves on WeChat:

Instead of hairstyles and make-up, there should be YouTube tutorials on polite behavior.

Just shared via Threads:

Bedtime procrastination isn’t a sleep issue. It’s a control issue. It’s about refusing to give up the last part of the day that feels like yours.

Trending via WeChat:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Roses are pink. I need a drink.

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨