Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Making waves on Discord:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Breaking via Telegram:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Master of free leg shaves, one tattoo parlor at a time! 😂🦵✂️

humor, i, leave, leg, me, parlor, prank, shaving, tattoo, tattoo parlor, trick

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

0

2 months ago

friendship, humor, pinky, pinky promise, promise, still, trust
No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

0

2 months ago

culture, frustration, humor, internet, internet culture, lived, matter, media, Reddit, screenshot, screenshots, situation, social, social media, someone, storytelling, update, upvote
Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

0

2 months ago

40s, adulthood, age, excuse, friend, help, humor, joke, move, welcome
The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

0

2 months ago

cost, dinner, economy, food, having, high, humor, lifestyle, living, nap, sleep, thinking
Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

0

2 months ago

compensation, effort, hard, humor, motivation, procrastination, sarcasm, self-deprecation, smart, work, work hard, work smart
University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

0

1 week ago

class, education, humor, paid, sarcasm, self learning, student, teaching, tuition, university, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Discord this month:

I am re-watching “Narcos,” and I have to say that for someone who smokes so much weed, Pablo Escobar gets a lot done.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

87 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope my parents feel proud. They scared me so bad about getting pregnant as a teenager that now they’re never getting grandkids.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Airports are so funny. Like, “Oh, you’re flying across the country? Would you like to hang out in a mall first?”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Making fun of bands that only play 3 chords when I don’t even know what a chord is.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Just landed via Facebook:

Thank God they have medical marijuana in this state. I need it for my joints.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨