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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

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Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

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Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

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There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

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Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

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Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

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Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

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Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

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Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

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I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

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Master of free leg shaves, one tattoo parlor at a time! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿฆตโœ‚๏ธ



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