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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’ve decided that I’m going to underthink today.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Just landed via Threads:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Just landed via WeChat:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Going viral on Threads:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Live now on Slack:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Live now on Instagram:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Seen just now on Instagram:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

2 months ago

0

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of every child: balancing honesty with preserving your parents' peace of mind 🤥👩‍👧‍👦 Just remember, they probably have a sixth sense for detecting fibs! Proceed with caution 😉 #ParentalTruthsAndLies"

family, good, hate, honesty, humor, i, lying, own, parents, truth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

0

2 months ago

away, bot, digital, digital life, follower, frustrating, frustrating bot, funny perspective, humor, interaction, life, losing, losing follower, media, online, online interaction, perspective, point, social, social media, think
Shorts should be half the price of pants.

0

2 months ago

clothing, comparison, economics, fashion, humor, pants, price, shorts, should
Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

0

2 months ago

around, bird, flying, humor, love, me, metaphor, moving, relationship
Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

0

2 months ago

blocking, cancellation, cancelled, enough, entertainment, favorite, humor, i, media, need, people, revenge, show, social, social media, TV, TV Show
Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

0

2 months ago

computer, duct, duct tape, humor, life, problems, reboot, rest, solution, tape
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

0

2 months ago

electronic, humor, joke, malfunction, need, smoke, technology, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Relationship status: he escaped.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s a disgusting pervert at the bar watching pornography over my shoulder.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,271

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Spotted on Slack:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Live now on WhatsApp:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Just landed via Slack:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Trending via Messenger:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Trending via Instagram:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t like being asked “are you at home?” Please expand further so I can know whether I’m at home or not.

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