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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Either you’re violently frolicking with me or you’re violently frolicking against me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,836

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You’re not a knight in shining armor, you’re just a knob in Under Armour.

Going bananas on Reddit:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Making waves on Discord:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Seen just now on WeChat:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Shared recently on Discord:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Seen just now on Threads:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Seen just now on Discord:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

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I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.
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Commentary:
Ah, a true cupid of unconventional tastes! 💘🏹 Who needs arrows when you have baby Cupids with their tiny bows, aiming for hearts with pinpoint accuracy? 😄 Those Valentine's Day shenanigans have got nothing on you and your unique approach to romance! 😉 #CupidJunior

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on YouTube this month:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

83 shares on Threads this month:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

24 shares on Slack this month:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Wake me up when I’m rich!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my best yoga pose is awkward facing dog.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,756

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Just landed via Pinterest:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Seen just now on Discord:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Live now on X:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Going bananas on Threads:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Seen just now on Facebook:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Freshly posted on X:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

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