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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,715

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Going viral on Reddit:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Trending via Telegram:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Spotted on Facebook:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Trending via TikTok:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, a true cupid of unconventional tastes! 💘🏹 Who needs arrows when you have baby Cupids with their tiny bows, aiming for hearts with pinpoint accuracy? 😄 Those Valentine's Day shenanigans have got nothing on you and your unique approach to romance! 😉 #CupidJunior

activity, archery, day, enjoy, fun, fun activity, hate, humor, i, infant, irony, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Reddit this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

99 shares on Instagram this month:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

77 shares on Telegram this month:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

69 shares on Threads this month:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

My diet was going really well until I woke up.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Making waves on TikTok:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Breaking via Messenger:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Trending via Snapchat:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Trending via WeChat:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Making waves on Reddit:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

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