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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Just shared via YouTube:

Laying in a hammock is essentially saying, “I hope there are no emergencies.”

Just landed via Discord:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Just shared via Snapchat:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Just shared via Slack:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Trending via WeChat:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Going viral on X:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your iPhone is more optimistic about your social life than you are 😂📱💨

abbreviation, am, autocorrect, communication, excited, excitement, hate, humor, i, iPhone, man, smartphone, technology, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

0

2 months ago

automatic, automatic door, delay, door, door delay, doors, dumb, embarrassment, enough, everyday, everyday life, fast, humor, impatience, life, me, open, social, social embarrassment
Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

0

2 months ago

activity, boyfriend, fun, humor, let, nature, outside, rain, relationship, sarcasm
I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, intelligence, interaction, IQ, people, room, room temperature, social, social interaction, talking, temperature
I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

0

2 months ago

Adderall, ADHD, day, drug, drug humor, every, exaggeration, extension, fantasy, hours, humor, i, productivity, thinking, time, time extension, unemployed, unemployment, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

0

2 months ago

ago, birthday, gift, hiding, humor, i, months, present, relationship, surprise, where, wife
My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

0

4 months ago

early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

99 shares on Slack this month:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

33 shares on Telegram this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

75 shares on X this month:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

When gearing up for a mountain climbing adventure it is important to remember to no.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Shared recently on X:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Breaking via WeChat:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Live now on TikTok:

It’s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when you’re letting people cross. You’re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨