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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,323

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

ASAP can also mean as slow as possible.

Spotted on Discord:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” I asked God to strike me dead with lightning.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Just landed via Threads:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

Going viral on Telegram:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Shared recently on X:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your iPhone is more optimistic about your social life than you are 😂📱💨

abbreviation, am, autocorrect, communication, excited, excitement, hate, humor, i, iPhone, man, smartphone, technology, texting

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

0

2 months ago

contradiction, daily, daily struggle, feelings, great, humor, internet, life, line, mistake, mixed, mixed feelings, online, online life, struggle, walking
The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

0

2 months ago

bladder, empty, half, half empty, humor, irony, optimist, perspective
I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

0

2 months ago

bed, body, early, getting, humor, morning, nonsense, struggle
I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

0

2 months ago

driving, humor, i, overtaking, people, reason, road, sarcasm, speed, traffic, why
Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

0

3 months ago

after, brag, bragging, date, humor, relationship, restroom, using
I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

0

5 months ago

disappearing, dream, escape, humor, i, nature, technology, Wi-Fi, wifi, woods

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

58 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand why bugs come inside when they have a whole outside to themselves.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

91 shares on Twitch this month:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t know why “you made your bed now lie in it” is a bad thing. It sounds great! I’ll even lie in a bed I didn’t make.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨