Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Making waves on X:

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

Seen just now on Threads:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Going viral on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Live now on Reddit:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Spotted on X:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"May your love life be booming and your job secure in 2022! 🥂 Here's to a year of passion without pink slips! 🕺💼 #Priorities"

amen, fun, hope, i, job, laid, laid off, relationship, wish, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

0

2 months ago

asking, call, coworker, drive, frustration, humor, meeting, question, slap, stop, work, Zoom
I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

0

2 months ago

after, another, dog, fashion, getting, getting ready, humor, ID, know, me, outfit, party, perspective, pet, pet perspective, ready, thinking, try, while
Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

0

2 months ago

commitment, getting, going, marriage, married, most, parent, parents, serious, shock, shocked, us
I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

0

2 months ago

acceptable, away, awkwardness, bored, boredom, care, conversation, honesty, humor, i, norms, say, self-expression, social, social norms, walk, walking, walking away, wish
I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

0

2 months ago

aging, browser, browser tab, computer, humor, i, internet, meme, older, open, procrastination, tab, tabs, technology
Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

0

2 months ago

compliment, example, flex, friend, friends, friendship, good, humor, mom, social, social status, status

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Slack this month:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

14 shares on Threads this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

33 shares on Slack this month:

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

It must be hard having an erectile dysfunction.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

When is a robot gonna take over my job? Please?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Just shared via WeChat:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Spotted on Twitch:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Going viral on Threads:

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

Spreading quickly via X:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨