Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

The iPhone alarm is so effective that you wake up before it goes off, so you don’t have to listen to such an unbearable noise.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Trending via Messenger:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Live now on Instagram:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Making waves on Telegram:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Spotted on Instagram:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Live now on YouTube:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Just landed via Facebook:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Breaking via X:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Going to start checking under the couch cushions with a metal detector now 😂💰🔍

floor, fortune, hope, humor, i, later, luck, money, optimism, wish

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

0

2 months ago

call, distance, exercise, fardio, humor, long distance, pun, running, wordplay
Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

0

5 months ago

astronomy, burning, burnout, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, metaphor, meteor, meteor shower, nature, nothing, observation, remind, shower, still
Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

0

2 months ago

everything, family, friend, fun, having, head, humor, i, parenting, question, questions, teenager, voice
I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

0

2 months ago

code, communication, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, learned, me, morse, Morse code, myself, rain, sleep, swear, swear word, telling, word
Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

0

2 months ago

fast, fast food, food, guy, humor, line, McDonald’s, me, order, pretty, rest, restaurant, sure, wait
I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

0

2 months ago

baked, baked potato, cute, humor, i, mirror, pictures, potato, question, self-image

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

58 shares on Discord this month:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

19 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.

55 shares on Threads this month:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Just shared via Messenger:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Going bananas on Messenger:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Going viral on YouTube:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Just landed via Threads:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨