Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The future is buffering.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,635

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Making waves on Slack:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Shaved my bush and went down a pants size.

Trending via Telegram:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Live now on Discord:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Just shared via WeChat:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When giggle season gets interrupted by bill weather 🌦️💸😂

bill, bills, emotion, Funny, giggling, humor, i, just, nothing, remember, start, stress, thinking, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

0

2 months ago

comparison, Ella, food, funny comparison, humor, joke, mozzarella, name, short, wordplay
The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

0

2 months ago

around, bike, exercise, hate, having, humor, i, pick, pick-up, return, return trip, stationary, stationary bike, thing, trip, turn, turn around, workout
“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

0

2 months ago

always, gender, gender stereotype, God, humor, sarcasm, sleeping, stereotype, unconscious, wants, woman
If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

0

2 months ago

activity, belly, belly button, brain, button, humor, nose, push, quirky, same, screenshot, silly, time
I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

1

2 months ago

attractive, comparison, confidence, humor, perception, self-esteem
No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

0

2 months ago

beauty, camera, emotion, heart, justice, landscape, melts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Facebook this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

85 shares on X this month:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting an extra 20 minutes in the day when someone cancels a meeting is like finding a penny on the ground. Not gonna use it for anything, but wow, am I excited.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

The only joke my mom ever made was me.

82 shares on Telegram this month:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

38 shares on Discord this month:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

People always talk about how they love to sit in their cars for a while once they get home. Whenever I do that, my Uber driver yells at me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on the bus do not go round and round.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Seen just now on Threads:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Going viral on Twitch:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Trending via Facebook:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Live now on Telegram:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Breaking via WeChat:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

If you push your belly button and nose at the same time, your brain takes a screenshot.

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨