Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Just landed via X:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Trending via Instagram:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

Just landed via Threads:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Trending via Pinterest:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
And I knew my cooking class was a joke when the teacher's idea of "flambe" involved a smoke alarm! 😂🔥📚

business, business teacher, education, fat, humor, i, irony, own, pe, PE teacher, physical, physical education, scam, school, teacher, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

0

2 months ago

affection, annoying, heart, humor, love, media, online, online persona, persona, relationship, social, social media
Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

0

2 months ago

after, better, communication, humor, i, irony, left, mistake, realize, regret, say, saying, silence, things, thoughts, unsaid
You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

0

2 months ago

anything, book, boredom, bro, childhood, fair, feel, feelings, humor, i, me, nostalgia, scholastic, Scholastic Book Fair
I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

0

2 months ago

adventure, fear, i, job, occupation, plane, push, skydiver, want
It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

0

6 months ago

around, day, evening, feel, lazy, lazy day, management, procrastination, regret, sad, sadness, Sunday, time, time management, waste, weekend
My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

0

2 months ago

bills, childhood, favorite, freedom, fun, memory, nostalgia, responsibility

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on YouTube this month:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

There will only be world peace if we get another Gangnam Style.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

86 shares on Slack this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

100 shares on Threads this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

32 shares on Threads this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s, your joints are now meteorologists.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Going viral on X:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Going viral on WeChat:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Broadcasted on Discord:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Trending via Telegram:

Rapunzel, let down your CVS receipt!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨