Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,409

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just landed via Reddit:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Going viral on Telegram:

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Live now on Twitch:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Going viral on WeChat:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like someone's running on coffee fumes and dreams of pancakes! 🥞😴☕

behavior, breakfast, humor, hunger, i, know, mood, morning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

0

2 months ago

advice, conversation, drinking, drunk, humor, i, intoxication, irony, listen, self-reflection, self-talk, stop, talking, tell
McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

0

2 months ago

customer, customer service, drive-thru, error, fast, fast food, food, food error, McDonald’s, needs, order, service, stuff, trade, trade-in, window, wrong, wrong order
For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

0

2 months ago

celebration, coaster, costume, emotional, fun, going, Halloween, humor, roller, roller coaster
I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, identity, individuality, me, problem, self-expression
Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

0

2 months ago

daughter, except, glof, hat, home, humor, impossible, morning, nothing, parenting, return, school
If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

0

4 months ago

cheating, ever, feel, forgive, humor, just, people, relationship, remember, sarcasm, stupid

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Facebook this month:

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

17 shares on Slack this month:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

80 shares on Slack this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

69 shares on Slack this month:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Flies are literally obsessed with flying into a room, then pretending they can’t get out. Grow up.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Making waves on Reddit:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Trending via Messenger:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Live now on Threads:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨