Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.