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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Spotted on Reddit:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Spreading quickly via X:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Spotted on Telegram:

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Just shared via Telegram:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Trending via Instagram:

Going to the bathroom at night with my flashlight on and a dog next to me feels like I’m gonna solve a mystery.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

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I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sleeping in fishnets is like wrapping yourself in a playful entanglement of fashion and comfort. 🐟💤 And feeling like a honey roast ham? Well, that's just taking 'beauty sleep' to a whole new level! 🍯🐖 Who knew bedtime could be so deliciously stylish?"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

On Twitter, you will always find someone who is tweeting your thoughts but with better grammar.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

78 shares on Twitch this month:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans can accomplish so much, unless it’s parking at a shopping center during the holidays.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

The world started without permission again.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

Breaking via YouTube:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Trending via Telegram:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just landed via TikTok:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Going viral on Threads:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

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