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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Nothing beats starting the day with a steaming mug of optimism roast ☕🤪✨

coffee, delusion, humor, i, love, morning, sarcasm, smell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

0

2 months ago

comment, communication, fact, humor, irony, paradox, say
At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, personality, podcast, shy, transformation
Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

0

2 months ago

Alpha, courses, humor, learning, online, online courses, self-improvement, YouTube
Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

0

2 months ago

bedtime, cell, cell phone, distraction, every, hours, humor, i, night, phone, procrastination, ritual, six, small
One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

0

2 months ago

burning, cd, day, even, last, last time, memory, nostalgia, outdated, realization, realize, technology, time
Starting to think business is standing on me.

0

5 months ago

business, complaint, humor, me, pressure, standing, starting, stress, think, wordplay, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

14 shares on Instagram this month:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Just shared via Discord:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Just shared via Facebook:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Broadcasted on X:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Just landed via Twitch:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

One day you burned a CD for the last time and didn’t even realize it.

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨