Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Time needs a speed limit.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Just landed via Instagram:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Just shared via Messenger:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Going viral on Messenger:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Going bananas on Slack:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Seen just now on WeChat:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Going viral on X:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Channeling my inner snack and instantly making myself hungry with that fragrance magic! 🍬💃🌸

compliment, confidence, delicious, girl, humor, i, love, myself, perfume, self-love, smell

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

0

2 months ago

aliens, culture, fiction, fitting, hopes, humor, imagination, invasion, movy, parody, science, science fiction, watch
Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

0

2 months ago

difference, education, grammar, humor, joke, knowing, language, shit, wordplay, writing
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

0

2 months ago

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger
I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

0

2 months ago

Arabia, Howdy, humor, i, just, laughing, laughter, someone, still, Texas
It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

0

5 months ago

America, being, challenge, dark, dark time, easy, humor, responsibility, someone, sweetheart, time, times
Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

0

3 months ago

15, 15 minutes, car, car insurance, conversation, discount, humor, insurance, joke, minutes, missionary, save, saving, us

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Opposites often not only attract each other, they often also undress each other.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

33 shares on Discord this month:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

96 shares on Slack this month:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

43 shares on X this month:

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Trending via Slack:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Going bananas on YouTube:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Shared recently on Discord:

Driving home, listening to Gangsta’s Paradise, with my hands at 10 and 2.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Breaking via TikTok:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Going viral on WeChat:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Just landed via Reddit:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Just shared via Threads:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨