Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

358 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,627

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,627

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Live now on Twitch:

The actors you see in movies are probably home by now.

Live now on WeChat:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Trending via TikTok:

Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.

Trending via Threads:

One time, when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and hit my head so hard, I was briefly able to communicate with bees.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Keeping my inner villain sharp one reminder at a time! 😈✨

attitude, evil, humor, i, losing, love, me, men, personality, remind, self-reflection, sometimes, spark, thinking

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

5 months ago

being, bi, bisexual, both, bruh, expression, humor, identity, means, reaction, say, slang, yay
Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

2 months ago

20, age, always, curiosity, ever, forever, future, humor, i, Italy, Japan, long-term, someone, travel, turned, world, world travel
It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

2 months ago

crazy, entertaining, entertainment, epigenetic, epigenetic memory, fire, memory, open, open fire, real, shit, stare
If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

2 months ago

alien, basketball, E.T., ET, found, humor, i, jump, jump shot, shot, sports
What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

2 months ago

bagel, eat, everything, everything bagel, food, food humor, humor, messy, plan, snack, Washington
Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

2 months ago

around, humor, patience, patience test, sarcasm, situation, social, social situation, something, test, too, witnesses

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

30 shares on X this month:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

58 shares on WeChat this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

50 shares on Discord this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

20 shares on YouTube this month:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Shared recently on X:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Just landed via Reddit:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Breaking via Instagram:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Just landed via Threads:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Trending via Discord:

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love when men remind me I’m evil because sometimes I be thinking I’m losing my spark.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨