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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, โ€œItโ€™s time to wake up.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡พ has viewed:

I think theyโ€™ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than theyโ€™ve made actual pandas.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think itโ€™s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,724

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Making waves on Slack:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Trending via Discord:

Employees should have to take their bossโ€™s last name.

Going viral on YouTube:

I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

Live now on Pinterest:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Going bananas on TikTok:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Trending via TikTok:

“Get a life!” Have you seen some of the lives out there?

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I am MTV, still played music videos, years old.

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Playful quote about loving toddlers' funny, passionate chats about nothing.
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Commentary:
Isn't it amazing how toddlers can go on and on about nothing as if it's the most important thing in the world? ๐Ÿ˜‚ It's like they're presenting a thesis on why socks shouldn't have seams or why the sky is actually purple. ๐Ÿงฆโ˜๏ธ Toddler conversations: making the meaningless meaningful since forever!๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars โญ

73 shares on WeChat this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and Iโ€™ll return your call when I get around to it.

92 shares on Discord this month:

Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering โ€œusually an hourโ€ wasnโ€™t the right answer. I know this now.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine buying a new car, and some superhero throws it at an alien.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

โ€œIโ€™m not even close to how crazy Iโ€™m legally entitled to be.โ€

67 shares on Messenger this month:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Adultingโ€™s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

16 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

Whenever Iโ€™m willing to sell my soul, thereโ€™s usually food involved.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

The homie whoโ€™s ultimately just a pawn in your grand scheme.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has bookmarked:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because thereโ€™s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

According to the smoke alarm, the food is ready.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, Iโ€™m not gonna fight with you.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on TikTok:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Breaking via Facebook:

I like my job, but if I had the opportunity to become a rich housewife, I would take it.

Trending via Reddit:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Making waves on YouTube:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Trending via Discord:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Seen just now on Slack:

I am the human version of tangled headphones.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Naked and Afraid because thereโ€™s a spider in the shower with me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, youโ€™ll realize itโ€™s still 2007 outside.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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