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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

15 minutes ago

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Spotted on Messenger:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Going viral on Messenger:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Going viral on WeChat:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Seen just now on Threads:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Breaking via Threads:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

5 months ago

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

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Commentary:
Isn't it amazing how toddlers can go on and on about nothing as if it's the most important thing in the world? 😂 It's like they're presenting a thesis on why socks shouldn't have seams or why the sky is actually purple. 🧦☁️ Toddler conversations: making the meaningless meaningful since forever!👶🗣️

absolutely, child, conversation, humor, i, love, nothing, passion, talk, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

15 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate it when what’s wrong asks me what’s wrong.

Seen just now on Reddit:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Spotted on X:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Going viral on Slack:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Broadcasted on X:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Making waves on Slack:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

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