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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I think it’s time I find myself a new inspiration, asking myself “what would Batman do?” gets me in too much trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

“Hope you’re enjoying the sunshine!” No, I’m at a desk reading your email.

Just shared via Messenger:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Trending via Telegram:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Just landed via Twitch:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

2 months ago

0

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Isn't it amazing how toddlers can go on and on about nothing as if it's the most important thing in the world? 😂 It's like they're presenting a thesis on why socks shouldn't have seams or why the sky is actually purple. 🧦☁️ Toddler conversations: making the meaningless meaningful since forever!👶🗣️

absolutely, child, conversation, humor, i, love, nothing, passion, talk, toddler

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

0

2 months ago

better, experience, humor, life, me, much, people, personal, reminder, story, telling
I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

0

2 months ago

chores, feel, fine, frustration, honesty, household, humor, i, just, know, left, let, lie, machine, me, much, need, never, time, understand, washing, washing machine
WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

0

2 months ago

communication, display, girls, humor, just, ly, relationships, seen, WhatsApp, writing
The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

0

2 months ago

food, fruit, funny observation, fur, humor, kiwi, misunderstanding, observation, potato, thought, time
Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

0

2 months ago

advice, bad, fall, humor, love, relationships
I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, charm, dating, flirt, humor, i, ID, romance, seduction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Reddit this month:

If I ever have a daughter, I’m going to call her Erica, but spell it Airwrecka.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

12 shares on Threads this month:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

63 shares on Slack this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love men with a provider fetish.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,281

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Just landed via X:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Making waves on Reddit:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Just shared via WeChat:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

Freshly posted on Discord:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

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