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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,963

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Just landed via Instagram:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Seen just now on Instagram:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

2 months ago

0

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the art of PDA – the perfect blend of affection and causing a stir! 😘💋🚫 Let's bring back the butterflies and awkward glances, because who doesn't love a good public smooch that leaves others feeling a tad flustered? Remember, a little discomfort never hurt anyone… well, except for the unsuspecting onlookers! 😉 #MakingOutMischief

activity, display, fun, fun activity, humor, i, making, making out, miss, nostalgia, people, public, public display, romance, uncomfortable

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

attitude, bigger, confidence, humor, personality, science, size, smaller, woman
Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, appliance, beep, feature, forever, kitchen, microwave, sound, timer
“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

0

2 months ago

before, caffeinated, caffeinated weightlifter, counterfeit, counterfeit sleigh, E, eight, except, feisty, foreign, foreign neighbor, i, keith, name, name Keith, neighbor, number, number eight, rule, sleigh, spelling, spelling rule, weightlifter, weird
You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, heat, humidity, humor, self-deprecation, steam, think, wrinkles
(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

0

4 months ago

again, dating, humor, i, life, low, low point, motivation, point, relationship, should, start
I’ll never understand people who go through self-checkout line and slowly and carefully scan their items. This line is for stealing.

0

2 months ago

carefully, humor, items, line, never, people, scan, self-checkout, shopping, stealing, understand

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Telegram this month:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

According to a study, people believe anything that starts with ‘according to a study’.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

38 shares on Threads this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love saying “exactly” to stuff that doesn’t make sense.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,976

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Live now on Facebook:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Live now on Discord:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Going viral on WeChat:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Making waves on Telegram:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Making waves on Slack:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

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