Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Thought you guys should know this was only Monday. It’s also still Monday.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,352

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Freshly posted on Threads:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Breaking via Twitch:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Seen just now on X:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Making waves on Instagram:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Going viral on Messenger:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Trending via Reddit:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

2 months ago

0

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days when the toughest decision was whether to ride with Tupac or Notorious B.I.G.! 🌴🗽 Can we please go back to settling our differences with sick beats and slick rhymes instead of Twitter wars? 🎤🔥 #90sRapBattle #ThoseWereTheDays

argument, better, coast, culture, days, debate, east, East Coast, humor, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap, west, West Coast

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

0

2 months ago

accurate, acronym, expression, going, humor, humor expression, internet, internet slang, joke, little, lol, SALTS, sarcasm, slang, start, stopped, texting, wit, writing
I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, bills, humor, i, me, miss, nostalgia, nothing, responsibility
Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

0

2 months ago

day, favorite, favorite day, going, humor, i, pretend, procrastination, productive, relaxation, something, Sunday, where
Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

0

6 months ago

austen, dating, ghosting, humor, jane, Jane Austen, left, left on read, man, me, media, men, mine, rain, read, relationship, social, social media, someone, story, us
In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

0

2 months ago

America, contrast, humor, movie, reception, ship, Titanic, well
Problematic bed time gap relationship.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, gap, humor, problem, problematic, relationship, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Discord this month:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

58 shares on X this month:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

98 shares on Messenger this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

79 shares on X this month:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

13 shares on Messenger this month:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

92 shares on TikTok this month:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,598

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Spotted on Slack:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

Making waves on Instagram:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Just shared via Slack:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Trending via WhatsApp:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴