Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,047

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Going viral on Telegram:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Spotted on Twitch:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.

Going bananas on Messenger:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Shared recently on Discord:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Trending via Messenger:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Plot twist: the kidnapper ends up seeking an exorcism refund 👻🔪 #PossessionProblems"

abduction, child, comedy, finds, horror, horror movie, i, kidnapper, movie, need, plot, plot twist, possessed, possessed child, twist, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

0

5 months ago

behavior, forget, humor, internet, mean, meanness, online, online behavior, reason, sarcasm, stranger, strangers, today
(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

0

5 months ago

boys, hope, humor, i, milkshake, own, playful, playful teasing, teasing, yard
Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

0

2 months ago

call, customer, customer service, days, humor, important, irritation, music, sarcasm, service, six, us, waiting
Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

0

2 months ago

annoying, appear, child, children, friend, friendship, humor, i, parenting, regret
Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

0

4 months ago

calendar, crying, emotion, humor, i, know, mood, needs, nonsense, over, period, PMS, sensitivity, things
You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

0

2 months ago

English, getting, know, old, shows, watch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Threads this month:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

42 shares on WeChat this month:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

62 shares on Instagram this month:

They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

86 shares on Slack this month:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

12 shares on Slack this month:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The first person to ever throw up was probably like, “Ok, what the hell.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Seen just now on Threads:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Just shared via YouTube:

The first pyramid scheme was when the Egyptians took credit for the pyramids that were clearly built by aliens.

Shared recently on Slack:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Seen just now on Discord:

Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.

Spotted on YouTube:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Making waves on WeChat:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨